Love

God gives us so much. 

Each day we get is a gift from Him, even waking up. I don’t generally have this attitude each morning but I should. 

And today I do.

As I sit here with my daughter sleeping on my chest I am beyond aware of Gods gifts.     

Having my husband kiss me good-bye and check on our daughter before he leaves is a gift.

Having Evan as my husband is a gift.

Him going to work is a gift.

Waking up next to a sweet boxer almost every morning is a gift.

Every way I try and save this family money is a gift.

Staying home to take care of Eleanor is a gift.

Being the source of food and nourishment for my baby is a gift.

Getting to raise her up in Christ is a gift.

I am so overjoyed and full of gratitude I could cry. 

God gives us so much and so often we don’t even realize. When I’m tired, and have to wake up at 6. When the house is a mess and I don't want to clean. When I'm exhausted and don't want to cook dinner.  When Evan wants to play video games. These things don't seem like gifts. But they are. When I want to go somewhere alone but cant, because E is fussy or hungry, that doesn't seem like a gift, but it is. And maybe it's a gift for her. Maybe me staying home to love and comfort and feed her is Gods gift to her. Maybe when we can't seem to find any comfort is what God is using us for it's because He is giving to someone else through us.

The reason this is on my heart now is because I never knew I could love someone the way I love my daughter. I never knew love like this even existed. I love my husband more than anything in this world, more than myself. But the love God gives you for a child is so different that the love He gives you for a husband. Love after you have a child is so beyond anything I could have imagined. Even my love for Evan now is so much more than it was before she was born. That we made this life together and that she is part of each of us and that she is ours, make me love him more than I ever have. 

The only thing I can think to even come close to understanding a mothers love for her child is the Fathers love for us. 

I believed God loved me, loved us, loved his children but after having E, I can only begin to try to understand the way he loves me, us. 

The magnitude of it. 

The abundance of His love. 

We love our little ones more everyday. Every second. But God already loves us more than we will ever love our children. He will never love us more that he does right now.

Wow.

And there is nothing we will ever to do make him love us any less. I just know how much I love my baby and can’t imagine anyone loving anything more that this, but I know that God loves me more, so much more. I’ve always heard you will never understand Gods love for you until you have a child and that is true. 

I understand now. 

Or am as close to understanding is as I ever will be. 

What a gift to have a God that not only gives us things everyday but loves us the way he does.